Night School

Welcome to Night School, held nightly in the Cathedral of Pines in Yellowstone National Park! Tuition is paid in silence and the occasional vole.

Period 1 : Camouflage 101

Professor Cloak, or Guardian of the Forest, arrives precisely by not arriving at all. She sits on a gray pew of bark and vanishes into it, the way a good secret vanishes into a whisper. “Rule one,” she hoots, barely moving. “If you look like the tree, the tree will look out for you.” The class is one pine squirrel, three unimpressed cones, and a wide-eyed photographer far below. A raven tries to heckle, then loses her in the pattern and applauds instead.

She demonstrates micro-moves: the slow breath that syncs with branch sway; the eyelid that closes on the side facing moonlight, stays open on the side facing news; the head-tilt that turns horns into pine nubs. By the end, the entire grove is a single pattern, and she is its quiet center, a sentence the forest keeps rereading.

Guardian of the Forest by Alex Spielman

Period 2 : Stare Physics

Guest lecturer: The Eye, aka The Silent Hunter. One golden orbit swivels from shadow, locking onto the day like a lighthouse that can blink. “Staring,” he says, “is not about glaring. It’s about measuring.” He lists today’s math: wind speed, branch flex, snack trajectory, and distance between opportunity and noise. The Eye does nothing else. Which is precisely why everything else behaves.

Lab exercises:

• Parallax Practice: move your gaze, not your body, and the whole valley slides to meet you.
• Snack Trajectory: compute the curve between patience and pounce; let gravity owe you a favor.
• Noise Filtering: separate wind gossip from wing truth. If it doesn’t help you feed or protect, let it pass.

“When you look long enough,” he concludes, “the world remembers how to behave.” And for a moment, even the ravens behave.

The Silent Hunter by Alex Spielman

Period 3: Fluff Tactics (Intro Level)

A student pops up in the nest. The Young Owl is round, serious, and the exact color of curiosity. “I am ready,” declares the owlet, voice small, intent enormous. “For what?” asks Professor Cloak. “For everything,” says the fluff, and the trees lean in to hear.

“First skill,” says Professor Cloak, “is courage without hurry.” The owlet plants two fuzzy feet on the rim, sways, corrects, tries again. Confidence arrives on the second attempt, balance on the third, style on the fourth.

Homework begins. Wing-stretches that feel like sunrise. A hop that becomes a bounce that almost becomes a lift. The Eye watches, math dissolving into pride. “Remember,” he says, “we do not conquer the dark; we wear it.” The owlet nods, a little lantern learning to be a sky.

The Young Owl by Alex Spielman

Which finish should you choose?

• 100% Cotton, Acid-Free Paper (Archival Matte, Framing Options Available)

Think velvet for eyes. Soft, non-reflective surface that loves subtle detail and gentle light. Museum-vibe. Best for intimate viewing, calmer rooms, and anyone who hates glare. Frame behind glass; a white mat lets the colors pop like fireworks that passed art school.

• Canvas (Gallery Wrap or Framed)

Slight texture from the weave = painterly feel. Lightweight, forgiving, and great big. Minimal glare. Perfect over sofas and beds where you see it from a few steps back. You can hang it frameless as a gallery wrap or add a float frame for a polished look. Cozy, organic, “I read good novels” energy.

• Metal (Dye-Sub Aluminum, Gloss, Framing Options Available)

Modern, sleek, punchy color. The image is infused into aluminum—durable, wipe-clean, and floats off the wall. Fantastic in bright spaces, kitchens, and hallways. Gloss = maximum pop/shine (more reflective)

Rule of thumb:

• Want quiet elegance and feather detail? Cotton paper.

• Want a big, cozy statement with texture? Canvas.

• Want color punch and modern shine? Metal.

P.S. My wife and I vote on “Best Perch” every month. If you buy an image for yourself, send me a photo where it lands! Winner receives eternal glory, my undying gratitude, and a free 11x14 matted print from my show bins.

Upcoming Holiday Show Schedule

Christkindlmarkt, Bethlehem

November 14 - 16

10 AM - 8 PM Friday & Saturday, 10 AM - 6 PM Sunday

645 E. First St., Bethlehem

Christkindlmarkt, Bethlehem

November 28 - 30

10 AM - 8 PM Friday & Saturday; 10 AM - 6 PM Sunday

645 E. First St., Bethlehem

Crafts on the Cathedral

December 5 - 7

12 PM - 7 PM Friday; 9:30 AM - 6 PM Saturday; 12 PM - 5 PM Sunday

1047 Amsterdam Avenue, New York, NY 10025

Holiday CraftMorristown

December 12 - 14

4 - 7 PM Friday; 10 AM - 5 PM Saturday; 10 AM - 4 PM Sunday

Morristown Armory 430 Western Ave. Morristown, NJ 07960

Christkindlmarkt, Bethlehem

December 18 - 21

10 AM - 8 PM Friday & Saturday; 10 AM - 6 PM Thursday & Sunday

645 E. First St., Bethlehem